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10 Tips For Loving In The Fast Lane
by: Jill Brennan

Do you ever feel like you catch up with your partner infrequently, often late at night when you’re too tired to speak? Or when your timetables happen to collide? There are work dinners, school outings, sporting practice, dinners with friends, homework to supervise, household chores and so the list goes on. Do you feel like you need to make a date night just to spend some one on one time with your other half? Time when you’re not sleeping?

If this sounds like you then I’m sure you will enjoy these tips for keeping each other close at heart, even if you can’t always be as physically close as you’d like.

Its all about communicating and sharing the little things that make up our lives. Here are ten easy ways to make your feelings known:

1. Birthday love letter. There is something powerful about a letter. A few years ago my husband and I agreed to write a love letter for each other’s birthday. I think I picked it up from a magazine article about Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise. Apparently it’s something they used to do in lieu of expensive presents. Obviously it didn’t work for their marriage but we’ve found it has become the part of our birthday celebrations that we enjoy the most.

Writing down all the things that you love about the other person and then giving it to them is a very personal and thoughtful thing to do. In many cases its better than any gift you could possibly imagine and something to appreciate and cherish even when the birthday is a distant memory. You can do it for your children too if you have any and they will never need to doubt that you love them. Of course, you don’t have to wait until it is your loved ones birthday to send them a letter – anytime is a good time to tell them how you feel about them.

2. Sit down and talk about your day. When we can we sit down at the table to eat our evening meal and take it in turns to talk about what we did in our day. Even our two and a half year old joins in. For a long time he would talk about who he saw rather than what he did but now he’s getting the hang of it. The other thing we take it in turns to do is name the best and worst things that happened that day. Sometimes so much happens each day that it helps to pause and reflect on what were the highlights and lowlights.

3. Celebrate all your partner’s successes with them – from a high five to a glass of champagne. Whatever the scale of the success calls for, make it a joint celebration.

4. Allow yourself to be impressed by your partner and let them know. ‘I’m proud of you’ is something that I think everyone loves being told by someone they care about.

5. Never underestimate the power of a hug – train your kids to hug you back. My five year old son Jack loves hugs. He loves giving them and getting them. Sometimes he will spontaneously hug someone if he feels they are a bit sad, although usually he asks first if they would like ‘a Jack hug’.

6. Send them a photo that means a lot to you and tell them why its important – you could use a Show & Tell Card. It’s a new type of greeting card that lets you stick your photo on the front and is blank inside so you can write what you like. Go to http://www.showandtellcards.com for more information.

7. Share an experience. It could be a movie, a new CD, magazine article, or a short story. Talk about what you read or saw and why you liked or disliked it. And do it regularly.

8. Compliments. Everyone loves getting them so never pass up the opportunity to give one of these reliable mood boosters. You can give them in person or write them on a small piece of paper and leave them somewhere unexpected for your loved one to find.

9. Dance. It doesn’t take long to find a great song you both enjoy, put it on and dance around the living room floor – probably 5 minutes maximum but it is a wonderful way to physically reconnect with each other in between dinner and desert or at the end of a long evening or you could make it an unusual way to start your day.

10. Thoughtful gestures. Doing something unexpected, especially when you’re loved one is busy and stressed, is a lovely way to show that you understand what they are going through and that they have your support.

Showing your partner how much you love them need not take a lot of time and you will be rewarded many times over for your effort. Get loving today!

About The Author

Jill Brennan

If the thought of sitting down to write a love letter to your beloved makes you break into a cold sweat, don’t worry. Jill Brennan has written a range of great easy-to-use love templates. Click here for more info: http://www.loveyouletters.com

jill@greatloveletters.com

Mindfulness and Flirting: Seizing The Moment
by: Maya Talisman Frost

Have you ever been called a flirt?

Good for you!

You see, flirting is an excellent indication that you are Paying Attention.

In fact, it is impossible to flirt without being mindful. You can’t be all wrapped up in your thoughts, or distracted by worries about tomorrow. You are Right There, in the moment, picking up on subtle signals and dealing out your own.

Mindfulness requires these four steps:

* Noticing something new (“Hmmm…he’s attractive.”)
* Making distinctions (“I like his eyes when he smiles.”)
* Shifting perspectives (“He dresses like a jock but he’s a music teacher.”)
* Staying fully present (“He’s flirting with me!”)

Flirting requires “people” smarts—interpersonal intelligence—but it’s also a great opportunity to flex your spatial intelligence (seeing visual cues) and bodily/kinesthetic intelligence (picking up on body language and using appropriate touch to make a connection). A good flirt can scan a room and see all kinds of options for relationships!

And it doesn’t have to be about finding your life-long—or even all-night-long—romantic partner. You can use mindfulness and flirting to help you create more meaningful connections in a playful way with your neighbor, your grocery clerk, your barista, even someone waiting next to you in line.

Don’t think of flirting as something only desperately single people do. No, no, no. Consider it a tremendous exercise in interpersonal mindfulness.

The first step in flirting is noticing something.

The blue of your waiter’s eyes? The necklace your dry-cleaning lady is wearing? Your child’s teacher’s smile?

Next step: Mentioning it. A quick and sincere comment like “Nice shirt!” is enough to create a connection and open up a conversation—and really, that’s the general goal of flirting.

Mindfulness of others is a powerful skill that can help you build relationships in all settings. Flirting is nothing more than being aware of others and taking advantage of what you notice in order to connect.

Who said mindfulness has to be quiet, solitary and inner-directed? It can be spirited, social, and downright sexy.

Notice. Smile. Connect. Repeat.

Get out there and seize the moment!

About The Author

Maya Talisman Frost has taught thousands of people how to pay attention. Her playful and powerful eyes-wide-open approach to mindfulness has been featured in over 100 print and web publications. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she helps people get calm, clear and creative. To read her free special report, “The Dirty Little Secret About Meditation,” visit http://www.Real-WorldMindfulness.com.

maya@massageyourmind.com

Help! I’m Single For The First Time In Years!
by: Sharon A

You’re back on the dating scene. But you’re worried as it’s been a long time since you were single or looking. Regardless of how exciting and new it all seems, it’s only natural for one to feel unsure and ‘out of practice’ when taking the step of going on dates again.

So, I have compiled the ten best things you can do to gain some confidence, and have more fun during this transition.

1) Get a makeover. A new haircut, wardrobe, or updated makeup will not only make you feel better about yourself, it will also help to mark this time of your life as a new beginning, and something to be excited about. If you look and feel great, it will give you more confidence which is always more attractive to others.

2) Don’t take it all too seriously to begin with. Look at this time as a chance to get used to talking to others, flirting, coming out of your shell. It doesn’t matter if a serious relationship doesn’t develop, as long as you are having fun! Enjoying yourself will put others at ease and more people will approach you.

3) Start out by going out with a group of friends first. This will feel more natural to start out with.

4) When on a date, nerves sometimes can take over, and we tend to talk more, to try to overcome this. Please try to avoid this. Learn to become a great listener. Also, when you do talk to your date, keep the topics light to begin with. Speak slowly, you’ve got all night! Try to discuss subjects you are both interested in, which will help the conversation to flow more smoothly.

5) Always have a ‘way out’ planned in case a date does turn out badly. Take your mobile phone with you, and ask a friend or relative to phone you at a certain time. If you really want to bail out of the date early, you can tell your date after the phone call that you are very sorry, but you’re going to have to cut the evening short.

6) Remember your date is just as nervous as you are. They are obviously interested enough to get to know you better, and are therefore just as anxious to make a good impression. Try to spend your time on dates, making the other person feel at ease. Not only will your date appreciate this effort, but you will be focusing less on yourself and how you’re ‘doing’.

7) Try to keep up to date with current news events before your date. Nobody is suggesting you pore over newspapers for hours on end. However, if you have some understanding of what is going on in the world around you, it’ll give you both a conversation topic that is easy to discuss.

If you have just suffered a painful breakup, try not to focus too heavily on it. Your date wants to know all about you. Not your ex. Of course, if you are going through a divorce, it’s fine to mention it, but keep it to a minimum, and remember your date is not your therapist!

9) Take care of your health. Eat well and exercise. A healthy person is a happy person, and this will reflect well in your self esteem. Know that you are putting your best self forward.

10) If you come across a set back (for example, your date loses interest or you lose interest in your date) don’t worry! Look upon it as practice. Remind yourself that the aim was to have fun and you did. Look forward to your next romantic adventure!

About The Author

Sharon is the owner of the free dating site, www.singles-world.info.

Help Your Marriage Survive The Rough Spots
by: David Silva

Every marriage has its ups and downs, its rough periods. Even in the best of circumstances, there are going to be difficult times.

People change.

Circumstances change.

Emotions change.

Over time, the natural ebb and flow of everyday life places incredible pressure on a relationship.

Almost unnoticed at first, you begin to think thoughts that had once been unthinkable. “I love him, but I’m not in love with him. Not anymore.” “I’m not attracted to her, not like I was in the beginning.” “Maybe if we separated for awhile …”

The skies can darken in a hurry.

But if you survive these darkest of times, you may find you emerge with a stronger, more trusting relationship than you ever imagined possible.

Here are a few tips that might help you toward that goal …

== Have a clear understanding of your expectations. Couples rarely take the time to discuss how the little things will work. What does romance mean to each of you? How will the finances be handled? How will your children be raised? What role will religion play in your relationship? What makes you feel loved? What hurts you? How will arguments be resolved? How will decisions be made? What do you need from your spouse, what does your spouse need from you?

== Don’t fight unfairly. There will always be disagreements. Deal with the matter at hand. Don’t drudge up all your hurts and disappointments from the past. Those are different matters, to be handled separately, at a different time. Keep focused on the issue under discussion and avoid muddying the waters with generalized personal attacks (”You’re always nagging.” “You never do anything unless I tell you to do it first.”)

== Face the issues that are facing you. Hiding from reality never leads to a happy ending. If you’re experiencing financial problems, admit it, get it out in the open.

== Be honest with yourself. Take a step back and give yourself a good long look in the mirror. If your behavior is undermining your relationship (whether it’s the way you communicate, or how you treat your spouse, or your personal destructive behavior) own up to it.

== Take the initiative. Understand that waiting for your spouse to change first will likely result in no change at all. Actions come first. Thoughts and feelings follow. Change your behaviors and watch your spouse’s behaviors change in response.

== Rebuild compatibility. Time has a way of unveiling the differences between couples, especially when your marriage is in trouble. Seek out those interests you have in common with your spouse. Look for opportunities to share activities together. Perhaps it’s ballroom dancing, or photography, or camping, or trips to the beach.

== Remember what it was like when you were dating. What was it that first attracted you to your spouse? What made you first fall in love? How can those feelings be rekindled?

== Keep your sense of humor. Life is challenging enough without having to live with a brooding, angry spouse. Laugh out loud the way you did when you were a kid. Happiness is a choice. Exercise it.

Marriage is a sacred vow to love your partner for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till … well you know the rest. Unfortunately, for many people, the pressures, challenges, and monotony of married life have doused its wonderful positive aspects.

Maybe it’s time to rekindle the magic.

About The Author

David B. Silva
Understanding Divorce
http://understandingdivorce.com
Pick up your free copy of the Divorce & Custody Resource Handbook.

dbsilva@understandingdivorce.com

Flirting and Body Language When Dating - The Experts Opinions
by: Joe Markus

If you’re on a first date and you’re trying to figure out what Mr. or Ms. Potentially Right thinks about you, look downward.

Not there, silly.

“The key to a man’s heart isn’t his stomach. It’s his feet,” says Lisa Daily, author of “Stop Getting Dumped!” (Subtitle: “All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love With You and Marry ‘The One’ in 3 Years or Less.”)

As it turns out, the foot rule also applies to women.

“Watch the feet of the person you’re attracted to,” she tips AdamandDrew.com. “People who are attracted to each other subconsciously try to ‘line up’ with the other person. Where the toes point, the heart follows.”

When you take the Sherlock Holmes approach to reading your date, trying to sleuth out whether he/she thinks you’re hot (or not), body language is the smoking gun, my dear Watson.

“Even if we’ve got our game faces on, the body doesn’t lie,” Daily says.

In fact, studies reveal that only 7% of our communication is verbal, according to Mari Smith, a relationship coach based in San Diego, California. The other 93% is nonverbal.

Tips & Clues

Men send out the following tips when they’re interested in you, according to Daily and Smith:

* Smiling.
* Extended eye contact.
* Grooming behaviors (straightening their ties, pulling up their socks).
* Upright stance or posture.
* Standing with their chests thrust outward and shoulders back (think of a giant preening peacock).
* Ego-driven comments about their successes in life (jobs, cash, their cars).

“He may have one hand in his pocket, with his thumb sticking out, or tuck his thumbs in his belt,” Smith adds.

As for the so-called “fairer” sex, look for the following nonverbal cues from a woman:

* Extended eye contact and smiling (just like men).
* Leaning inward or toward you.
* Exposing her neck, hands or palms.
* Flipping her hair (with her hands or a twist of the head) or twirling it playfully.
* Crossing and uncrossing her legs.
* Fondling cylindrical objects like the stem of a wine glass, straw, pen or cigarette. (Paging Dr. Freud…)

“Houston, We Have a Problem”

“For both sexes, there are also signs that things are not going well,” says Daily, who notes that distasteful dates, traumatic breakups and consequent crisis periods often call for “a few Nora Ephron movies and two tubes of frozen cookie dough eaten right out of the package.”

Look for speech patterns that are wildly out of sync. “He’s a slow talker, while she’s a thousand-words-a-minute,” she says.

Defensive body language—arms crossed in front of the chest or hands subconsciously protecting the groin area.

Someone who keeps looking over your shoulder while you speak.

“When someone is not interested in you, they will typically point their body and feet away from you and position themselves at a greater distance,” Smith adds.

Saying Goodnight…or Saying Goodbye?

As your date winds down, other cues foreshadow your relationship’s future.

“If you give your date a hug on the doorstep and he or she pats you on the back, it’s a sign of discomfort,” Daily says. “The more uncomfortable your date feels, the bigger the pat. The other obvious, not-so-great sign is going in for the doorstep kiss—and getting a handshake instead.” (Ouch!)

Positive signals are much easier to read: a concrete invitation for a second date, with firm plans—not just “let’s do this again” or “I’ll call you sometime,” Daily says.

The Flirt Factor

Flirting with your date—and being on the receiving end—meets Sherlock’s criteria for irrefutable evidence that your lovely evening may evolve into a bona fide relationship.

Daily takes it one step further, asserting that flirting is “absolutely necessary.”

“Flirting is how we communicate our interest—and how we connect emotionally before we connect physically,” she says. “Generally, flirting is harmless, but it can sometimes be interpreted incorrectly by the ‘flirtee.’ The key is to pay attention to the tone of the flirtation and wait to see how the flirter responds if you try to take it up a notch. If she backs down, she was probably just flirting for fun. If she escalates the flirting in turn, she’s communicating interest.”

“Use attitude, voice and body synchronization to make others feel like they have a special rapport with you,” advises Nicholas Boothman, a communication specialist and author of “ How to Make Someone Love You Forever in 90 Minutes or Less.” He encourages those he counsels to learn to “access—and rev up—your sex appeal, without going over the top.”

Translation?

Create chemistry by mirroring your partner’s physical presence and verbal behavior.

“When you synchronize your overall body language, your tone, the speed and volume of your voice, and even the type of words you use—as well as your attitude—people feel safe, familiar and trusting with you,” he tells AdamandDrew.com.

Smith believes women have the edge—and a lot more fun—when it comes to flirting. (Sorry, guys…)

“Playful, lighthearted behavior is really the domain of women,” she says, “and typically men love it and gravitate toward the woman who looks the most fun. It certainly pays to familiarize yourself with all of the signs of attraction so you know how and when to communicate interest—and make sure you’re sending the right message!”

About The Author

Joe Markus

Adam and Drew’s Dating Tips has a large variety of free articles that have been written by consulting ‘experts’ in the dating, flirting and relationship fields. Find out more at http://www.adamanddrew.com

Romantic Relationships, Relationship Problems
by: Cher Sern Lim

Why It’s Worthwhile To Maintain Romantic Relationships And How To Keep The Relationship Problems Out.

If you’ve never been in a relationship before than it’s no surprise that you wouldn’t know what to do. But don’t panic, being in romantic relationships can be very rewarding and you might actually enjoy it compared to dating and one night stands. However like everything else being in a relationship has its problems.

The way to enjoy a relationship is to try to avoid as many of these problems as possible. And when you can’t you have to be willing to work things out in order to salvage your relationship instead of just deciding that things are not working out at the first sign of trouble.

Romantic relationships can work but you have to put effort into making it work. The first thing to remember is that when you are in a relationship, it involves two people. And the most important thing you need to do in a relationship is to compromise. Learn that you can’t always have your way, but you have to know when to put your foot down. Giving and taking is part of life and is crucial to keeping a relationship successful. As a man it is vital that you figure out when you need to give. Over giving is a turn off because women will start to view you as a pushover. So just like dating, remember to be nice but not too nice.

Women also love men who are thoughtful so making dinner arrangements, surprising her with dates and romantic gifts also help keep the relationship afloat. Again you can’t do this too often or she will come to expect it. Worse she will assume that you’ve done something wrong and you would have created problems for yourself when nothing was wrong with your relationship in the first place.

The next part of maintaining romantic relationships comes from communicating with your partner. You have to understand that women and men communicate differently. A lot of relationship problems actually occur because of simple misunderstandings when the couples are unable to communicate with one another. Take the time to understand your partner and how she is feeling (especially when she is emotional and needs time to calm down). I’m not saying that you need to take the emotional rubbish that women dish out but you have to try to understand where she is coming from and deal with it appropriately and not just slam the door on your way out.

Of course the biggest problem that relationships deal with are jealousy and betrayal. It would help greatly if neither your or your girlfriend are cheating types of course. As for jealousy if your girlfriend is the jealous type, either dump her if you can’t deal with that, or work out an arrangement with her. Get her to understand that woman A is just a close friend or colleague and nothing more. If you have jealousy issues you might want to meet up with her guy friend and who knows, you could be best of friends. But if that doesn’t work out, the best way to deal with it is to try to get over the jealousy issue because if you continue to harp at it your relationship will fail and that guy would have won.

Romantic relationships will come across problems. This is normal and the only way for you to ensure that you can maintain your relationship is to avoid as many of them as you can is to not give up on it. If you don’t think you can commit to a relationship then its better not to get into one at all because it will come with a whole bunch of problems that you might not have been ready to face.

About The Author

Cher Sern Lim

Visit http://www.datingartist.com now to get more FREE tips to double your dating success overnight! Discover the players’ secrets to meeting, dating & seducing women.

admin@growtallernow.com

Online Dating, Internet Dating
by: Cher Sern Lim

An Introduction To Online Dating And A Glimpse Into Why It’s So Popular And What You Need To Do To Succeed At Internet Dating.

If you’re bored of regular dating or you’ve heard of this thing called online dating and you’re curious to try it out, why not? Similar to dating you can still meet women, make friends and perhaps even more! But online dating is not all fun and games and there are a lot of things that a person has to know about online dating before one gets into the intricacies of it. Online dating may seem to be the simplest thing in the world but it is not. It should be viewed in all earnestness or things could go hay wire. Every game has its rules and unless you know all the rules you just can’t become a good player and eventually a winner.

Online dating is, to put is very simply a free dating service that with the help of a machine namely the computer via the Internet. That in itself makes the idea and the process a very novel one indeed. Hundreds of happy single people across the globe have been successful in finding suitable partners by the means of online dating.

The reason is pretty simple. It is very much the same reason that the internet itself became so popular. The Internet opens up a whole new world of communication and contact. Online dating is fast, you can have as much privacy as you want and it’s cheap!

In order to enjoy it and succeed at online dating there are a few rules to remember and they are:

• If you don’t know where to start internet dating, just hit some chat rooms of your interest. There you’ll be able to meet interesting people who have the same hobbies and preferences.

• You can either write your own personal ad or get a dating service to do it for you. It’s of course better if you can write your own personals to give it your special touch. Feel free to embellish on certain details but as much as possible be honest with what you put in it. It is of course important to remember that people will judge you depending on what you write so you might want to be careful about that.

• After you’ve met someone you think you’re interested in, get to know them better by moving into a private chat room with them. Women also enjoy conversing through email and the quicker she replies the better your chances are of getting a date. Do note though that women hate waiting so its best to return her emails promptly.

• Don’t worry about making mistakes and goofing up when you’re trying out online dating. You are hidden behind the anonymity of the internet and you can erase your mistakes a lot easier than you could if you had goofed up in real life. So just go out there and chat up a storm with anyone who seems remotely interesting.

About The Author

Cher Sern Lim

Visit http://www.datingartist.com now to get more FREE tips to double your dating success overnight! Discover the players’ secrets to meeting, dating & seducing women.

admin@growtallernow.com

Surprising Impact OF Viagra On Love And Relationships
by: Robert Stalling

In 1998, Viagra was first introduced to the world, and it is fair to say that the world has not been the same since. The impact of this medication has been enormous, not just in the narrow area of treating erectile dysfunction (ED) for which it was approved, but also in the way we think of sex and sexuality, and even in the realm of relationships between men and women.

Millions of men in the United States have tried Pfizer’s wonder drug, sildenafil, better known as Viagra, and there are thus millions of women who have also seen its effects on their husbands, boyfriends, and lovers. Many other millions of men and women wonder about whether Viagra can offer a solution for their own sexual and emotional problems or for the problems of their partners. We human beings are sexual animals, after all. And unfortunately, our sex lives are not always the way we want them to be. So it’s no surprise that when sex goes sour, relationships suffer in other ways as well.

Everyone wants to know about Viagra, and many are interested in trying it, whether or not they think they have an erection problem. There are always a good number of Viagra questions, such as, “What happens when a young, healthy man with normal sexual function takes Viagra?” Or “Can a woman tell during sex that her partner has taken Viagra?” Or “Is it true that Viagra increases a man’s sex drive?” Viagra quickly tapped into a set of wishful fantasies that mirrored our culture’s hunger for certainty and the quick fix. Supported by stories that described elderly men restored to such sexual vitality by Viagra that they abandoned their wives in favor of younger women, a conventional wisdom arose that Viagra was a fountain of youth, a sure cure, the real deal. Baby boomers could now look forward to fabulous sex well into their nineties. Men shared Viagra stories with each other at cocktail parties or around the office water cooler.

“All we can say is ‘Wow!’” says one man, and other men listening in wonder how their lives might be different if they also took the magic blue pill. Women too have been targeted to confirm Viagra’s ability to create satisfaction and serenity within a relationship where frustration and friction had once been the rule. One of the most successful early Pfizer ads showed a series of couples happily dancing together after Viagra apparently cured the loss of rhythm in their relationship.

Viagra jokes became a staple of comedy acts on late-night television (Have you heard the one about the man who swallowed Viagra, but it stuck in his throat? He wound up with a very stiff neck!), thus ensuring its place in our cultural lexicon. Viagra tapped into both our fantasies and our embarrassment about sexuality in a way that no other drug had ever done. When, for example, was the last time you heard a joke about a new cholesterol-lowering medication?

Skillful marketing contributed to our perception of Viagra as the pill that put the “man” in “manly.” Star professional athletes-vigorous men such as baseball’s Most Valuable Player Rafael Palmeiro of the Texas Rangers and NASCAR driver Mark Martin-endorse the medication in widely seen advertisements. Other kinds of athletes use Viagra as well. Hugh Hefner, the aging head of the Playboy empire who is known for his bevy of beautiful blondes, gives Viagra credit for maintaining his pleasure quotient. Rumor has it that he provides bowls of Viagra tablets at his famous parties.

Yes, the drug is enormously powerful, and it can be a lifesaver for many men, but it has also turned a bright spotlight on previously hidden areas of sexuality and relationships. In particular, it forces couples to decide what is real in their relationships and what is not. I have come to see Viagra as providing a window into the psyche of men, and perhaps indirectly into the psyche of women as well, since women are not immune from unduly high expectations regarding the benefits of Viagra and its potential to provide sexual healing.

About The Author

Robert Stalling is a webmaster of an online pharmacy http://www.mynetpharma.com providing generic drugs for sexual health,weight loss , hair loss,cholesterol control,and anti allergy. Visit now for free bonus pills of generic viagra and generic cialis.

stalling_robert@yahoo.com

How To Get More Responses At Online Dating Sites
by: Sharon Alger

So, you’ve decided to join a dating website. You’re hoping someone out there will find something interesting about you and try to get to know you better.

Many members worry about appearing ‘desperate’ or over keen. This can mean putting in less effort into a profile in a bid to ‘play it cool’. Of course, nobody wishes to be seen as desperate. However, keep this in mind: how will others know what you want, if you don’t ask for it? How will they ever appreciate your finer qualities if you remain tightlipped?

Therefore, to be successful in the online dating world, your profile is highly important. Members search through a large number of profiles on these sites. If there is little information about a prospective date, then they are more than likely to skim over an empty profile as quickly as possible. Look at this as a great chance to sell yourself!

The first aspect of your profile to consider should be your photo. No matter how much emphasis people put on the importance of personality, the old expression, ‘it’s nice to put a face to a name’ couldn’t be more apt.

Physical appearance plays a big part in the real world, when first becoming attracted to someone. Also, it helps to ensure that people will remember you. The golden rule when posting photos on dating sites is obvious – BE HONEST. We’ve all heard stories of people who’ve posted a photo that is ten or twenty years old. Or worse still, a photo of someone else entirely! Now, if you never intend to meet someone, then this is not a problem. But let’s be realistic – you wouldn’t be on a dating site if you weren’t hoping to meet someone!

A misleading photo causes all sorts of unnecessary problems on a first date. You will have your date questioning your honesty. You want to turn up for dates relaxed, with your best attitude put forward. Still not convinced? Just think how you would feel, if you were deceived by a photo, and that should be incentive enough for you to be accurate.

So what if you’ve gained a few pounds? Aged a bit? Give yourself some credit, you’re still a beautiful person, and sure to be someone’s ideal ‘type’. So, try to get a recent photo of yourself, looking the best you can. Avoid shots that are so dark or distant that no one can see your face. People will only see either an insecure person, or someone who has something to hide and move on. Just think how frustrated and disinterested you’d be if you came across such a picture.

Let’s talk about location. How much information is right? Obviously, for safety reasons you aren’t going to put your address into your profile. Apart from this, put as much detail as you feel comfortable with. At least, put the state you live in. at most, your suburb. Anything in between (such as the city your suburb is located in) is also fine. We all know this, but it bears repeating, do not put your phone number on any public site.

It will save everyone a great deal of time if you are open and honest about your sexual preference.

Talk about your interests and hobbies. Don’t just leave it blank! And don’t worry if they don’t seem interesting enough. This is who you are. If you are honest and forthcoming with this information, you will be more likely to attract the type of person you are after. For example, if you were the district running champion in high school, but never intend to run again, don’t put it in as a hobby! To put in hobbies you have no interest in, in the hope of appearing more impressive, will only attract people you have nothing in common with in the here and now.

So, if you like quiet nights in, say so! Try to paint a rich and detailed picture of what the real you likes to do.

You also really need to share a part of your personality with your audience. What are your beliefs? What are you looking for in a person? Also, if you feel you have special qualities such as a sense of humour or kind nature, try to write your profile in a way that sincerely reflects that.

You are now ready to make your first attempt at creating a winning profile! Remember, you just need to keep it honest and current. You need to show you’ve made some level of effort to let members know who the real you is. And when in doubt, remind yourself: give the sort of information you yourself would be wanting to know about when looking at other members. Good luck!

About The Author

Sharon Alger is the owner of the free dating site, www.singles-world.info .

Gay Men and Women – How and When To ‘Come Out’?
by: Sharon A

Worldwide, as we speak, men and women, young and old, are agonizing on their private secret: ‘I’m gay, and I can’t hide it anymore’. People who just want to live a life as a regular couple with someone of the same sex. Many of us have family and friends who consider homosexuality as ‘abnormal’ or ‘wrong’, so it’s natural for people who are gay to have reservations about telling those special to them how they feel.

The first thing to consider: who NEEDS to know? You aren’t obligated to tell anyone it doesn’t concern. Who you tell comes down to several things. Firstly, who do YOU feel you want to know? Who do you want to talk to about your love life, your attractions, your relationship ups and downs? These people will be close friends, possibly family, too.

Consider your current lifestyle. Do you have a partner now? If so, is it becoming more important to share them more in your daily life, with other people special to you? Often, people in love, straight or gay, want that person involved in their life more as a relationship grows. When in a relationship, we like to bring our partner to special occasions, celebrate, have support during the bad times. Maybe you wish to live together, and have realized that those around you will need help understanding this. Some people choose to tell their loved ones they are gay because they don’t wish to feel that they are ‘hiding’ anymore. These are all ‘turning points’ that will lead to a person wanting to let others in their life know that they are gay.

There are times when a person decides to wait for an easier time to tell loved ones, particularly family. It’s sad to admit, but oftentimes true that families can have a harder time dealing with the news that a family member is gay. Attending high school can make ‘coming out’ an extremely stressful situation. Students may be fearful of being teased or not accepted by their peers. No student should be treated badly because they are gay, obviously, but it consider this – if you are at school and aren’t dating, is it anyone else’s business? If you’re fortunate to have some very mature friends, of course, tell them if you think it will help you.

Some high school students find they prefer to hold off telling family until necessary, perhaps until they are older, have left school, or even have left home. This gives parents time to see that children have grown and matured, and it isn’t a ‘phase’ or something they can try to stop. There is of course, always the exception, and there are a lot more open minded parents around, whose reaction could surprise you.

Another common situation is homosexuality in heterosexual marriage. This can be extremely stressful for both husband and wife. One person feels trapped in a lifestyle that is no longer making them happy. A gay husband or wife can suffer a lot of guilt over the way they feel, to the extent of staying in the relationship as a way of ‘making it up’ to the other partner. If this is you, ask yourself: are you helping your husband or wife, in holding off dealing with your feelings and telling them? Not only are you prolonging your happiness, but theirs too. They’ll need time to deal with the marriage’s end, and you should make this as easy and painless as possible. If this means ending the marriage sooner, then it’s possibly the best way. The longer you stay married, the more the chances are your partner will grow more attached. If your spouse truly loves you, they’ll only want your happiness. Yes, they’ll miss you, want to stay married, but few people want to keep someone in a marriage if they’re unwilling.

Many gay people divorce their husbands or wives and stay best friends. But of all the people who need telling, husbands and wives rank highly! Or, at least, if you don’t tell them you are gay, they deserve an amicable split.

The next suggestion may sound trite, but still bears mentioning. Why not talk to a counselor? It can be ‘practise’ for telling your loved ones. What’s great about counselors, is they can help you work out what’s the right thing for you to do, and how to say it best.

Which brings us to the next question– what to say? Honestly? Whatever you want! But, a good guideline is to start with why you are telling them. If you are single, you might just want to say that you prefer dating people of the same sex. If you are in a relationship, you could just let the person you are telling know that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. It helps if you make a short simple statement to start with, then give the recipient a moment to process this news.

Some people you ‘come out’ to will say, ‘I knew it all along!’, ‘good for you!’ or, ‘so?’ These people are a breath of fresh air, and will make you wonder why you didn’t tell them sooner. Others will have questions, some may be angry or upset. Please remember, that although you need all the love and support from these people, that many people have been raised in families that taught homosexuality is ‘wrong’. Go in with a willingness to work through the feelings with your loved ones. For parents, it can be a shock, for the reason that they may feel scared about not having grandchildren, even if they accept homosexuality.

It isn’t acceptable, however, for anyone to abuse you. If this happens, remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible. Let tempers calm down, protect yourself from others’ anger. Realise people often calm down and accept things with time. Some people may never accept this, and it’ll be your decision how to handle those people.

Above all, be true to yourself! It’s your life, and you’re the one living it. As mentioned, you may wish to wait, and there are many good reasons for doing this. However, there’ll come a time, when you’ll wish to live and love the way you want to. Take time, and you’ll always find a way. If you know who you want to inform you are gay and why, you’re halfway there! All there is to do now is to wish you the best of luck. People can surprise you with their acceptance, and people who are gay are often overwhelmed by the freedom this experience can bring.

About The Author

Sharon A is the owner of the free dating site, http://www.singles-world.info